BUILT.
NOT BORN.
I consider myself to be a product of GRIPT.
In early 2014, I found myself physically and emotionally at rock bottom leading my way down a dark path. I got to the stage where I would look at myself in the mirror and no longer recognise the person who was staring back at me. All I would see and say to myself was the things that I considered negative about myself, I was out of shape, I had no energy, no motivation and I blamed everything on my failures and instead of doing anything about it, I ran from it.
It was the relationship I had with Jack that got me through what I was going through and out of the situation I was faced with.
My mindset was constantly in a negative state. I was only ever able to see the bad in every thing that was in front of me. My immediate environment, in others and in myself.
It was the introduction of training on a daily basis with Jack where I started to notice a difference, a shift in my thinking and in turn my actions.
At the time I wasn’t working so I should have been out looking for a job. Instead I focused my time on myself. I wasn’t in a position where I could honestly say that I would be a positive addition to any work environment or team. I had been going to job interviews which 6 mths earlier I would have nailed and got the job, but instead I found myself putting a brave face on and lying through my teeth just to get through it.
I had lost all confidence, belief and trust in myself.
My training was a vessel to get me from the negative state I was in, to a better place. Focusing my time, effort and energy towards improving myself under the guidance of someone who gave a f**k about me, gave my days purpose and something to move forward on week in, week out.
I wouldn’t have been able to do it by myself. The state of mind I was in, I could barely walk out the door at home, let alone make it to the gym. Knowing Jack was there and expecting me, that gave me a reason to walk out the door to the tram and make my way into the city.
I could barely look someone else in the eye, getting out of home at the time, was me getting out of my comfort zone. Every time I felt this discomfort, the doubt and anxiety that came with it, I reminded myself the reason why I was forcing myself through it, what the outcome was that I was seeking.
Training soon became like an addiction. I had an insatiable hunger for improvement, for knowledge and for wanting to see where it could be taken. Learning more from Jack about the body and particularly how hormones function, it was the experience I was addicted too – challenging myself during training, having someone positively support me and the reward of endorphins after training.
The knowledge I was forming from Jack gave me the power to take control of my circumstances, to take action and to view the problems I was facing as opportunities to challenge myself to overcome them.
I can honestly say that I was never out to prove anything to anyone, I was focused solely on doing it for myself. Where previously I built a career in a role I thought would earn respect, to make an income that would keep me satisfied and in an effort to make my parents proud of me for my achievements.
Looking back on it now, I had made a subconscious decision. The purpose behind what I was doing was to build a better, stronger version of myself and what I now consider myself working towards, building a greater version of myself.
The reason I wanted this was I have a deep passion, it feels almost as if it’s my duty to be able to have a positive influence on other people, but the only way I was going to be able to do this was first by having a positive influence on my own life.
I want to give people the power to do the same. I want people to be able to take control of their circumstances, for them to be able to view themselves differently, I want them to be able to build the same level of self esteem, belief and trust in themselves.
I want to demonstrate to people what is possible when you prioritise the relationship you have with yourself with the way you treat yourself.
I used to feel like shit, because I went out of my way to treat myself like shit. And the worse I felt the more I treated myself that way.
I personally don’t give a f**k about what society tells me that I should care about. In magazines and on social media, because at the end of the day if it’s not having a positive effect on me, supporting me to grow and to develop none of it matters to me.
Every habit and ritual that I have formed serves my purpose. Every decision I make serves my purpose. Every time I am faced with a situation which compromises what I am focusing on, what I working towards, I tell myself ‘it’s not worth it’.
The way I train, the way I eat, the way I sleep, the recovery I give my body, the way I start my day, the supplements I take. All of it is to provide me with the best opportunity to perform so that I can become the greatest version of myself.
Everyone has the ability to take control of their circumstances. It starts with changing the way you view yourself.